Dallas Invasion?

Has the invasion already started?

The new additions to the West 7th area have been great, but walking through Uptown (D-bag central) Dallas last week, I began to see similarities. Anyone can do some research and realize that Terra, Patrizo's, Tillman's and the soon to be Fireside Pies are all Dallas chains. Like I mentioned before, I appreciate what these establishments have done for the development of the area, but why can't we get some Fort Worth local establishments? If I wanted to go eat at a chain I would stroll my ass into a Chili's or if I wanted to eat at a Dallas restaurant I would put my ass on 30.

I am on a soapbox, but I really don't like that Fort Worth's local flavor is being negated in the new additions. I feel sorry for the guys like Lanny's, Michaels, La Familia and Fred's in the area who established the market for the Dallas guys. All I am saying is eat local when possible and shop with establishments that are keeping their money in Fort Worth. Also as mentioned in the "The Pour House: Fort Worth Meets Jersey Shore" I warned of the incoming amount of D-bag's associatead with chains. My prophecy has come true, I was out the other night at Capitol Bar and there are now people from Arlington and the surronding areas coming into West 7th to "party".

The Aardvark: Never Leave College

Quick Summer update: Tuesday’s are getting packed at Big Mike, but if the crowd is one in one out head over to the Aardvark. The bar hosts a DJ I-Pod night-plug in and go.

Walk around the TCU campus and say the word Aardvark on a Wednesday/Friday morning and you will turn heads. Most of the time you will get the satisfying nod or the “I was there too”. But you really don't even have to give a look or acknowledge, because you can easily identify bitches that have been "varked" the night before. They are either a) wearing heels, b) wearing some rush shirt that three other girls have stayed the night in or c) have a giant stamp that says LEGAL on their right hand (easiest identifier)--usually there will be some combination of the three. It is more difficult to pick up on guys because we are either way too hungover to go to class, don't go to class anyway, are catching up on Sportscenter or watching last week’s Entourage, and/or can't find parking so we’re playing NCAA instead.

The Aardvark, owned by bar entrepreneur Danny Weaver, has been a TCU hotspot for quite some time (at least since I have been on the scene). The Aardvark normally doesn't attract a TCU crowd on the weekends unless there is a home football game. And when I say "non-TCU" crowd I mean tattoos, screaming, black hair and the "I hate my dad mentality". Back to the bar-- since I have been in Frogtown, the bar has undergone renovations including a patio, expanded seating and some serious flat screens. The difference in the bathrooms is like night and day (not that I usually remember going into them), and I don't feel like I am pissing in a third world country anymore. But the greatest addition to the bar is food.

Watch out for the non-TCU crowd.... lots of screaming, lots of black t shirts etc.

Atmosphere- exactly what one would expect out of a "college bar". Smokey, concrete floors, bar stools that look like that have been thrown around (because they have been), and a long bar complete with lemonade machines converted to shot dispensers. But what really completes this bar is drunk ass college kids (that sounds weird because I was one for way too long). You can usually break down the guys into three categories: guys that are too drunk to function (usually found hanging onto a trash can or dancing alone), guys that have girlfriends--I feel for them here--because they usually have a good buzz and are having a good time until their drunk ass girlfriend starts bitching at them and they are coerced into going home, and finally, the guys on the prowl (girls can really get a good night out this group, free drinks and cigarettes all night). Get ready to hear the following songs every Thursday night from a college cover band who probably sucks: Wagon Wheel, Brown Eyed Girl, Crazy Game of Poker and a variety of other Texas Country songs.

The bar- obviously the best part of any college bar, and the Aardvark does not disappoint here. Mike and Adam, who have both been there for at least five years plus do a great job at mixing, pouring, and unscrewing drinks in a hurry. They know that if you don't get that rum and coke to that girl you have been working on all night, that she will probably leave you, so there is a bit of urgency behind the drinks they pour. If you are looking for a cheap night, go with a Miller High Life and the 2 dollar Kamikazes that are poured out of the converted lemonade machine. Doubles are right around 5 bucks and beers are about 3 dollars--not bad compared to other venues. The bartenders are pretty knowledgeable on shots, I have been there multiple times, had no clue what I was going to order, just said get me something good and don’t remember much after. Every bartender can deliver. Get to know James, the long bearded metal head doorman; he is an ass but a good friend to have when its 2AM and some drunk ass wants to beat the shit out of you. Believe me, he has helped me out plenty.

The Aardvark just recently added food and it does the trick. The food is simple, greasy and outstanding. Almost everything on the menu comes out fried with a side of ranch, but believe me after that 5^th or 6^th drink almost anything tastes great to me. For lunch or late night get the Spicy Buffalo Sandwich with a side of okra and of course ranch, and to really get things going add a side of buffalo sauce on the fried okra. I have also had a taquitos and they are incredible as well. Sunday brunch is where the Aardvark pulls ahead. Flat screen TVs, Dollar Mimosas, Bloody's that will split any hangover, and a 10-dollar all you can eat brunch that will put you in a coma. For the brunch try a bloody, country potatoes, waffles, and the biscuits and gravy. You will not be disappointed.

The crowd- watch out for random nights (Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays). You are usually in the clear from the Lamb of God group if you go on a Tuesday/Thursday or game day. This bar is almost magical to me, when I walk in I suddenly feel like vomiting in a trashcan in public is acceptable, and I feel young again. If someone tells you they hate the Aardvark they are a communist, atheist, or just bitter because they lost their designer purse at 1:45 while they were bitching at their boyfriend, then of course they blamed him and forced him to buy a new one. But seriously, what the hell are girls doing bringing 800 dollar purses to a bar where they plan on getting drunk?

Back to the crowd--so it looks like the Easter bunny shit pastels all over every guy and you see a bunch of bitches running around in clothes that will they will never be able to wear again after they get dropped on the floor. I am surprised I haven’t been sued because once that dance floor gets wet girls start falling and it’s bad news. I have been responsible for baseball sized bruised before but it’s their fault. One thing everyone has in common--they are all spending their parents money, which I was very good at. I remember getting very disturbing phone calls (always at 10 or 11am, some ungodly hour) from my mother bitching about bar tabs. Go to the Aardvark, it’s fun.

Quick Recap-
Atmosphere – typical college bar, scary on non-TCU nights, prepare yourself for the same 10 cover songs
The bar- fast service, good bar food and great brunch
The crowd – Vineyard Vines and Polo
Overall:
Atmosphere- 9/10
The bar- 10/10
The crowd- 8/10

Hiatus and Return

This test blows.

I need to apologize to my 7-8 followers for not been keeping up with the blog. Studying for the LSAT really killed my blogging ability. Now that shit is over I now move onto law school applications, which are a real treat. But I have returned from the dead and am about to drop some serious reviews. Here is what's cooking for late July/early August.

• new layouts


• new slogan: FW Food and Booze... eat,drink and horned frogs.


• Aardvark review (should be done this week)


• Gameday special: A Guide to Drinking After a Horned Frog Victory


• A review doing Piola, Brownstone or Lanny's

Terra Mediterrian Grill: The Best 10 Dollars I Ever Spent

I went to have lunch this past month at Terra and to be truthful it was the best ten dollars I have ever spent. This ten dollars was better than the ten dollars I spent at the new Cowboys Stadium for a Miller Lite, EVEN better than the ten dollars I spent at Rick's during half price dance night. I must urge anyone in the area to eat the lunch buffet at Terra, it is well worth your time.

The first time I went to Terra it was during dinner and I was completely disappointed in the crowd. There was no one there, the service was blah"and the drink I was served tasted like a Jolly Rancher. The drink was originally described to me as an "authentic Mediterranean drink" by the hipster (Dallas D-bag) bartender. It tasted like something the 10th grade cheerleading squad would slam before the varsity football game.. my little sister would love it. The food was spot on so when a friend of mine wanted to meet up with me for lunch there I figured I would give it one more chance.

Atmosphere: I felt like I was in a dance scene off Slumdog Millionaire, to be perfectly honest. The music was loud and had a bunch of words I could not understand which were broadcasting throughout the restaurant, but it was appropriate for the setting. The dining area was a large open space with modern looking tables and chairs. The "wide open spaces" dining area was complimented by the large open windows facing Crockett St, it was perfect on this sunny day. While it was still too cold to sit outside, it looks as if they will have outdoor seating and an outdoor bar. Although I didn't like how close the tables and chairs were arranged indoors, which felt like you are eating with the table next you...creepy. Even though I didn't like Slumdog, I could definitely hang out in Terra.

Food/Drink: Since this is a lunch post I am going to focus on food...even though the question of whether it is socially acceptable to have a drink before noon is still up in the air. So i will take just a bit of time to talk about booze. The speciality cocktail as previously mentioned was terrible but maybe if you are taking out a freshman from TCU you could have some serious fun. The next drink I ordered was a scotch on the rocks, and to my surprise they don't bring me out " casual drink" they bring me out a 20 oz Iced Tea glass of scotch. They apparently think I am tailgate thirsty. This was a mistake on their part but I, in this case, will be the glad recipient of Terra's mistake.
The food during lunch comes out of a bunch of serving trays organized around the bar also known as a lunch buffet. The lunch buffet has almost everything that the dinner menu has but at a price that Moses and his desert wanders would love, 10 dollars. Yes, 10 dollars, and the quality of the food is fantastic. I tried the Saffron Rice, Greek Salad, Chicken Kabobs and mixed vegetables. The rice was decent, but could have used something, it was dried out but not unbearable. The Greek Salad was spot on and the dressing was out of this world, it tasted like I had died and gone to garlic heaven. Mixed Veggies were a combination of squash, zucchini, carrots and onions, they were soaked in some type of wine reduction sauce that makes you love to eat your vegetables. The Chicken was juicy and also covered in olive oil and garlic. The pieces on the chicken kabob were massive about 3-4 oz per cut. I saw the staff adding fresh food to the serving dishes right off the grill, which made me feel better about about my dining experience. For all you healthy dickheads out there, this place is a gold mine, nothing fried and everything is served without a massive amount of cheese, lard, grease , etc.

Service:
For all you dip shits out there, a buffet is self service. You walk your ass over to the serving dish and serve yourself. Terra receives high marks for the following: a) paying up front- you walk in, give the hostess your money, grab your plate and go. No following some asshole around begging him to close you out because he has fifty other tables. b) Constant rotation of food. c) Being the first cool buffet in Fort Worth. The waiter we had barely spoke English and he was definitely from south of the border (weird at a Mediterranean joint, not weird for Texas) but really who cares all he needs to know how to ask is what you want to drink. Even though he was overzealous about filling up my tea.

Overall: I have been four times since the 10 dollar menu buffet arrived and I can say with complete confidence that the secret is out. The first time I went I was one of four people in the restaurant and every time I have been since the crowd has grown. The food is great(and healthy) and the location is trendy, so I assume that Terra will be an overall hit.

Lunch at Terra: 8/10

Terra Mediterrian Grill

2973 Crockett Street

Ft. Worth, TX 76107

817.744.7485

February Recap and March Planning

Driving on I-20 to Shreveport... this shit sucks.

Well we are officially done with our first month as a blog. I have got to say the response has been decent. Now at the end of every month I am going to briefly recap the restaurants and try to outline the following month. We all know February sucks, I think I saw the sun about four times in Fort Worth and everyone had to deal with the Valentines day crap. March kicks ass because it's my birthday month, spring break happens to fall then, we only have one more month until the NFL draft and March Madness, which gives us something to do when college football isn't around.

February Recap:

1. Vidalias- 4/10: Terrible imitation of Southern Cuisine at an incredible high price


2. Cat City Grill or Kitty City Grill (thank you Carol)- Lance Martin and Martin Thompson's new hybrid restaurant opens on Magnolia.


3. Pour House- 3/10: Affliction T-Shirts, Jager Bombs, and an obnoxious crowd. Drinkers beware. Maybe one day I will try their lunch... I think you can sub your side for a Jager Bomb for just $1.50

March Planning:

1. Delaney's Irish Pub: Looks and sounds promising from the website and location right off 7th. But does 7th really need another Irish Pub? Claims to have gourmet food at an "Irish" price.


2. Chimy's Cerverceria: Best place for early drinks in Fort Worth. Possibly the best place to drink period... in Fort Worth.


3. Terra Mediterranean


4. Lambert's/Ellerbe/ Tillman's: All so good

Pour House: Fort Worth Meets Jersey Shore

Here it finally comes, my first bar posting, this should be good. When the Pourhouse relocated to West 7th Street I had high expectations and was excited to be blessed with a new bar in one of my favorite areas of Fort Worth. What I got with my new bar was the "Gremlinish" multiplication of "Affliction" T-Shirt, Ripped Jean, hair gel-ed, "bros" in my backyard. Similar to my food section I will break down the Pour House in 3 categories: crowd, atmosphere and the bar. The bar includes drink selection and service.

Atmosphere: I want to say I like the set up inside, it has a ton of open space, not too many chairs and tables. The atmosphere is not set up like a club despite the presence of the patrons. The patio can make for a good afternoon drink but I can't really say I would enjoy watching traffic leave downtown or stare at Montgomery Plaza (even though there are a good amount of Rivercrest Mommies that hang out there). I hate that there is valet, I mean valet at a damn bar, here go get shit faced and then let someone ELSE get your car for you, so you can drive it home blackout. Stupid. This is not Vegas, Miami, or Dallas. The live music is decent and can actually be fun if your blackout. I also love three mile hike from the door to the bar. I mean by the time I actually get in the door, get grinded on by every guy in line, pay the bouncer some foolish cover (while girls get in free), get soliciated for a cigarrette by some chick from Frisco and finally make it to the bar it's ready to close down.

Reminiscent of a "club" there is a bathroom attendant and generally a bunch of Jersey trash hanging out in the bathroom talking about what girl they just bought 20 shots of Jager for her and her fat friends. I also don't like that there are FWPD just hanging out inside, I realize security is a big issue for these guys (see Frisco trash bros) but COME ON. I am trying to have a good time here, I want to be able to drink leisurely, not have the "po-lice" look at me slam down my RBV ( Red Bull Vodka) and grind on some random girl. So my aforementioned concerns are already resulting in a terrible night, I haven't even met the patrons, terrible will go to downright awful.

The crowd: Sucks. Fort Worth is small enough that I thought we could keep all the guidos and guidets (female guido) inside the downtown perimeter. Not anymore. When the Pour House moved down onto 7th they brought all their friends with them. I used to enjoy the crowd on 7th. But now I feel like every night is Spring Break down on 7th.

I have been in Pour House and witnessed four "bros" slamming their hands on the table screaming "shhhhhhooootttttzzz" guess what they were shooting... big surprise... Jager. That gasoline flavored shit should be illegal South of the Mason Dixon line. Another fun fact: the people who work at "bro" bars are "bros". So not only do I get to hang out with the "bros" I have to buy my shitty drinks from them, double fun. I have almost gotten my ass kicked almost 7 times in that bar and I have been three times. I have a feeling that it has to do with the "bros" going straight from the gym to the bar. Not to mention the girls there suck as well, pound of make-up, smoking flavored cigarettes, wearing items that don't fit, etc. You get the picture.

The drinks: Service is actually decent (even though I have had one bad experience). Drinks are reasonably priced as well. The bar is a big square in the middle of the bar, dotted with beer bars on several corners. Drinks come out relatively quickly but are weak. I believe they use the 1.5 oz a shot rule, which, if you are trying to have a great night, this makes things difficult. So my bad experience is short and sweet but goes like this: I walk into Pour House after a post dinner drink session at Chimy's. I consumed two drinks and completely fine. Not the "completely fine" where I will get on the dance floor and drop it like I am a New Orleans stripper during Mardi Gras or the type of fine when you drop your keys twice and then drive fine. I am not smoking, not taking shots, and not dancing fine. So I stroll to the bar and I am greeted by my good friend who offers myself and my girlfriend a shot. Of course I accept. But our friendly bar tender lets my girlfriend AND my friend know I am completely out of control and she will not serve me. NOT ONLY do they stop serving me but everyone else in our party. So the fun stops for my friend, girlfriend and I. This was the last time I went to the Pour House.

Typical crowd pictured above hair gel (far left corner), top that doesn't fit(center right) flat bills and excessively abnoxious sideburns(see all).

Overall: I can't really say anything positive about this place... I mean I could have fun there if I was plastered, but I could have fun playing bridge at Shady Oak's with my grandparents and their friends if I was plastered. At least I don't have to worry about my grandfathers friends don't fake tan and have hair gel. I mean seriously how many rips can a pair of jeans be worth. Pour House lost major points for the following reasons: drinks are weak, crowd is terrible, having an overall lame set up, and failing to capitalize on the massive amount of space they have.

Verdict:3/10

The Pour House

2725 West 7th Street
Fort Worth, TX 76107
(817) 335-2575

Open Daily 11am-2am

Fort Worth's Newest Pussy Cat: Cat City Grill

I know this is old news, but I am trying to keep current with new restaurants in our wonderful city Fort Worth. It seems like just when Magnolia Ave seemed to be overshadowed by the new 7th street addition (Tillman's). Magnolia Ave fires back with its newest addition, a conglomeration between Lili's owner Vance Martin and Martin Thompson former chef of Del Frisco's, Cat City Grill.

To begin, my hopes are very high. I am an avid fan of Lili's and Vance Martin's operation on Magnolia. Cat City Grill can't go in at a better location, during a better time on Magnolia with staples like Ellerbe's, Lili's and Paris Coffee Shop holding down the block. But with the addition of Cat City Grill, Magnolia is going to get hot, like Nelly "Hot In Here" hot. Plus after dinner is done, Fort Worth's newest bar, The Usual is also a great new location to spend the rest of the night.

As far as Cat City goes, I am going to take a brief look at what I have heard and seen:

Food: The menu is up and looks fantastic, no prices are available yet, but I can imagine lunch would run between 12-20 dollars and dinner 20-30 dollars.

Lunch: Looks somewhat similar to the Lili's lunch menu and of course they will have the Lili's staple: gorgonzola fries. But other than that sandwiches, chicken fried steaks, and po-boys.

Dinner: Surprisingly somewhat of a simple menu(which is never necessarily a bad thing i.e Tillman's), appetizers, salads, seafood, steaks and specialties. Appetizers - can't wait to taste the Lobster Bites. Salads- Tortellini Antipasti looks outstanding and unique, other salads will include a wedge, caesar and the regulars. Steaks- nothing to complicated. Sides - I love grits, especially jalapeno cheese grits. Specialties- I spot the King Ranch Chicken, I assume this will be similar to the King Ranch Chicken at Lili's (which is fantastic for a hangover). The specialities also remind of Grady's on Forest Park. But what I am really getting wild about is the Stuffed Cornish Game Hen, whew.

Drink: Nothing has been posted online, but there is a "happy hour" section on the web page. I am assuming they will be serving liquor not just wine and beer. Unlike Lili's, from my understanding of the layout, they will have a "formal area" they will call a bar, crossing my fingers for some good bartenders.

Overall my hopes are high, I just wish they opened before Valentine's Day so I could make up an excuse to go all out at a new restaurant. But Cat City Grill opens up February 15th(the day after Valentine's Day dumb ass), hope to see everyone there. Guess I will be enjoying two nice meals that week...sorry?

Enjoy yourself,

-J

BLOG UPDATE:

A couple things that need to be addressed.

• I am working on the blog design, I know the pictures and lay out are very boring.
• I enjoy comments so please post anything you would like to see or hear about
• Have your friends follow me on facebook or twitter.
• I am going to try to post twice a week, I will be traveling quite a extensively in the next month but I will try to revisit some old Fort Worth staples along with some of the new.

Drink-Chimy's

Chimy's: A West Texas Party No One Should Miss

Way before Pour House had its graphic T's on 7th, before Tim Love dropped the "love bomb" on 7th, and even before the massive structure of West 7th opened its doors to retail and dining, a bar out of Lubbock, TX touched down and forever changed happy hour and beyond. originated out of Lubbock, off of the famous Broadway Ave. right near Raiderville (Texas Tech) and then spread its love to Fort Worth in 2006. If you are planning a night of drinking and reckless behavior, or just looking for a place to have a solid drink Chimy's is your place.

There is a time in every young man's life when he falls in love... not with a dog, car or woman, but with a bar, and Chimy's is my first love. It's that moment when you look at your group of friends across the table and say"shit, I love this bar". Back to Chimy's, as I mentioned before, Chimy's was established before almost everything bar related on 7th. Chimy's opened on Foch St. in an old warehouse and the only other dining destination in that area was the relocated La Famalia and Fred's Texas(which I am sure was burnt down at the time). Chimy's purchased the old warehouse and created a large kitchen, dining room, incredible patio, with two bars that can really "slang" drinks at you.

Food/Drink: Chimy's main goal as a Cerveceria is to provide drinks and well the food is just bar food so don't expect much. The drinks at Chimy's are out of this world fantastic and reasonably priced. They don't mess around with singles but everything is served as a true double. True double definition: half hard stuff and half mixer stuff. The best part about the Chimy's double is that they are only 4.50 and that is a Saturday night price. I am not a huge margarita fan, I can do one but my old man stomach, gets indigestion and I am done after two. But I have heard they are good, but all Margarita's taste to me the same except the Jalapeno Cumber Margarita from Cowtown Diner.

On to the food, its full of lard. The Nachos have literally a POUND of cheese, tons of beans, and tons of meat. They are worth the price, but would taste better if I was terribly hung over. Make sure you split an order of nachos. Queso is great. Fajitas aren't worth a damn. Taco's are out of a box tasting. The gut rocket is great but at the cost of about 3000 calories and some serious time on the toilet

I can recommend two fantastic drinks: the Chilton and the Cowboy. The Chilton was introduced to me by older brother and was introduced to him by some friend that attended Texas Tech ( no not Mike Leach even though everyone knows he loves the booze). The story behind the drink is that the drink was named after a Dr. Chilton who enjoyed the cocktail. This treat is simple, vodka and soda with a fresh lemon squeezed in. Similar to other drinks it is half booze and half mixer and wonderful on a hot day. The next drink is a one way ticket to a wild night and a terrible morning. The Cowboy shot is a Chimy's special. When someone says lets take a shot of tequila I know they are ready to get wild. When someone says lets do something with Red Bull I know they are ready to tear the house down. Combine these two and you get the Cowboy. Tarntual and Red Bull.

Atmosphere: I described Chimy's as a renovated shack and that is exactly what it is. Concrete floors tables that are attached to the ground, crappy walls with a mosaic of a fishing scene out of Cabo. In the fishing scene are several the bartenders present and past. The bar has two decent sized bars and as mentioned before drinks come out lighting fast.

Outside is where the bar really skyrockets. The outside patio is like a little jungle of drinking. Basic tables and old far troughs full of flowers do the trick outside. Old Tecate, Modelo, and Pacifico tables make me feel like I am somewhere between Texas and Mexico (thanks Pat Green). This patio makes day drinking during the summer an easy task.

A blurry photo from Cinco de Mayo

The crowd: Fun. A bunch of graduated Raider fans and bunch of ex- TCU frat guys coupled with the girls that run around with them and it gets wild. Most of the people that go to Chimy's are looking to get buzzed by 10PM and then hit a local bar (not the Pour House). Chimy's also has a good mix of rednecks who are also looking for a good time. The bartenders are friendly and as I have mentioned three times before, make a great drink. Recently the "Pour House-ites" a.k.a Dallas Wanna-be D-Bags have been looking for a location to drink before they try to grind to "All The Single Ladies" while slamming Jager. Hopefully they will stay away. Beware of Chimy's during Rodeo season.

Overall, Chimy's scores well in drinks, atmosphere and crowd. The food is not great, but you shouldn't go in there with that expectation. If you want decent Tex-Mex go see Al at La Familia. If your looking for a great start to a good night, head down Foch. Oh, by the way they close at midnight but that's the way they like it.

Score: 9/10

Chimy's Cerveceria

1053 Foch Street

Fort Worth,TX 76107

(817)348-8888

www.chimys.com

Open Monday-Saturday 11am-12am (Kitchen Closes at 10PM)

Authentic Southern Cooking... Vidalias?

Here goes nothing: restaurant #1 Vidalias. So I had some out of town guests that I was entertaining last weekend (actually it was more like my girlfriend was doing the entertaining and I was the entertainment due to the fact I started drinking at the rodeo at 1PM). We recently had a friend recommend to us that opentable.com was a great way to make dinner reservations during high traffic nights during the Fort Worth Stockshow and Rodeo. I have grown up loving southern cuisine and southern cocktails which my Grandfather regularly drank at any family event. The smell of bourbon and mint takes me back to days of my childhood when my grandfather would teach me the perfect way to muddle a mint leaf during a hot summer day before I could even reach the counter. I am pretty sure this is illegal now.

I figured while having some southern cuisine, we could also enjoy some uniquely satisfying cocktails. Eating and drinking two things commonly associated with a southern meal. When I scrolled down on the opentable.com web page I ran into Vidalias which described itself as "specializing in Southern food".

Vidalias located in the Renaissance Worthington Hotel was for sure a home run, as I used the world wide web to determine the availability of our reservation of four. I knew this restaurant would be fantastic because the Worthington had been the hotel of elegance for the Fort Worth traveler (before the Omni Hotel). I remember my first experience at the Worthington, eating a fantastic brunch that still to this day I could not forget. All I could think was homerun.

As soon as I walked in the door I knew we had trouble, you see I had never heard of Vidalias before. Like I have mentioned before, I am no food expert and rarely venture on into uncharted territory. I usually rely on recommendations of friends and family. I reassured myself that with the shift in names from the Worthington to Renaissance (or whatever the hell happened) that this restaurant must have been a new addition. We walked in and were seated immediately in a restaurant that had the ambiance of an upscale Luby's or Denny's. Just a bunch of booths and tables, nothing authentic or southern about the layout, lighting similar to that of a cafeteria. There was in fact, a nice view of the kitchen, but the kitchen only had one chef back there.

Here's where things begin to go south, my group is now sitting down waiting to order a couple of drinks, when a waiter who looks like she belongs on the cleaning staff takes our drink order 15 minutes after we are seated. Like I mentioned before, I had started drinking early on, so I was REALLY thirsty, not to mention the overflow from Chuck E. Cheese was screaming at the top of their lungs next to me. Another lady appears, 15 minutes after the maid turned waitress attempted to take our drink orders. Now this little treat of a waiter (with a bluetooth headset it) says she will now be helping us. I guess our first waitress needed to get back to fluffing pillows. So bluetooth waiter appears and she looks a little too official, maybe she is the front desk manager, I think to myself. What the hell, who cares, I needed a damn drink. Now please remember, Vallidias is an upscale restaurant, average entree item is 25 bucks. We ask here to see her "drink menu" as it as advertised online with emphasis on "speciality cocktails". She says," oh we only have one specialty cocktail". If I was nervous before, I was shitting my pants now.

While I placed my drink order (Johnny Walker Black w a splash) everyone else was so disappointed they picked Coors Light, Pinot Grigio except for one member of our party. She chose The Woodford, Vidalias speciality cocktail. I forgot to add this, "bluetooth manager" at a supposed " 4 star restaurant" decided that she would thoroughly ID all of us. Which all of us were over the age of 21, I felt like with the detail she inspected us, I was waiting in line on a Thursday night at The Aardvark on Berry Street when I was 19. When her Woodford came out I actually looked at it with high hopes. Pecan crusted rim, with just a tad bit of red hint to a strong full whiskey. But the taste was all wrong, the portions were all fouled up. I enjoy a strong drink but a drink that prides itself in a full fruit flavor and then tastes like my bourbon on the rocks is a poorly made drink. To describe the taste, it was like a very messily made whiskey old fashion, but not made with muddled cherries, but with cranberry concentrate from a store bought jug of Ocean Spray. Not to mention the bartenders seemed to be playing the same game the waiters are playing, whoever is around is the bartender, no need for just one person behind the bar, rotating bartenders.

We get our cocktails but to my surprise, oh hell, its another waiter. This one is just perfect, she is wearing the IHOP attire (khakis, short sleeve button down, name tag, and a tie to top it all off). Her hair looks like Dolly Parton and I am pretty sure she had some small forest animals living in it. Not to mention two tables over all the kids are done eating dinner and jumping up and down out of their chairs, while the parents appear to slam a bottle of wine. I don't know blame the parents, hell, if I had unruly shitty kids like that I would be drinking too. At this point I'm aggravated, actually no I'm pissed. I rarely will make a comment to a poor innocent waitress, but this crime I could not let go unanswered. Worse phrases ran through my head but since I was in the presence of guests who don't really know how crude I truly am, I gave them a censored version, I said, "well sweetheart, it really looks like we are playing musical waitress here tonight". Her response made me want to pick up my shit and leave. Here we go, " Well honey I'm sorry, we got busy tonight and I am the only waiter here". Wait no really, on a Saturday night, during the Fort Worth Restaurant Industries biggest week, just one Dolly Parton, that looks like she would probably do better in a truck stop in Abilene or a greeter at Wal-Mart in Jacksboro, TX.

I figured I was already in hell, so I might as well play in the fire, we order one of my favorite dishes; grits for an appetizer. The Dolly Parton brings out the grits which look half way decent. One bite in, I know their game. See with grits its all about the texture, and with instant grits there is no texture. But in my college days, to make grits seem homemade you load them with cheese and jalapenos. The fantastic cheddar taste complimented the jalapenos with distracts the tongue. They tasted acceptable especially with the ham and premade shrimp.

The table that should have been located in the center of Chuck E. Cheese with the loud obnoxious children is now about to burst at the seams. For every scotch I drink, the children have about 2 Mountain Dews, Dolly Parton is obviously not in the business of childcare, she is letting them slam them down like a college student drinking at Mardi Gras. When Dolly strolls back around to check on us I immediately beg for another scotch and ask her to please take our order. My girlfriend and I decide to split the special, which had a nice black box around it on the menu, while our two friends went with a salad and the trout.

The special was a Pecan Crusted Chicken complete with Collared Greens(one of my favorite southern dishes) and wild rice. I can understand the rice and chicken but the rice, chicken and collared greens was kind of an odd combo. Oh well, the food came out quick, nice and hot. To our surprise the cook said that the chicken he split for us looked to small so he just gave us an additional piece of chicken; nice gesture. When I order something "crusted" I do not expect a layer of batter thicker than Massey's Fried Chicken on 8th, I expect a light crusting. The "crusting" made up half of the meal, but the chicken was quite tender. Overall the chicken was not terrible, but not 30 dollars good. The collared greens were overcooked and it was obvious there was nothing fresh about them, I grew up on collared greens and I know what fresh Sunday collared greens taste like. This sadly, was not the flavor, I could tell they had obviously been hanging around all day in serving tray, Luby's style. The wild rice, was fine, rice is something pretty difficult to screw up. I was finishing up what I ate of my meal and I looked over to see my buddy playing with his food. His trout had a slimy layer of skin on top of it, which should have been pulled off way before that fish even hit the pan. He said the trout, "tasted way too fishy to consume". He took two bites and he was done. The salad was fine but its pretty hard to mess up a salad. My meal was around 85 dollars including tax, tip, two scotches, "the special" and the Woodford.

3 category breakdown

Food/Drink-

The good:

• Drinks came out with relative speed even though we had 3 different waiters. My drink was strong and to the point.
• The food came out with relative speed as well.
• Chicken was tender.
• The grits trick (excess cheese and jalapeno) to cover up the fact that they might not have been fresh or homemade is a good tool to use when your in a hurry.

The bad:

• The trout was not prepared properly.
• Crust was too thick on the Pecan Crusted Chicken basically overpowered any decent taste in the chicken. Crust was also bland.
• Collared Greens were bland, tasted old, and almost mashed together.
• Menu was more "American" than Southern, just because you have Chicken Fried Steak does not mean you deserve the title Authentic Southern Cuisine. Try the Screen Door in Dallas.
• Lack of diversity of drink, every restaurant needs at least 5 signature drinks. The Woodford or a bourbon and cranberry juice does not count. Especially in the 25+ dollar range.
• The meal wasn't bad but it wasn't great, if I wanted a mediocre meal I would go to Chili's with my girlfriends little brother, for a lot less of the cost. I think they even take Frog Buck's.
• Nothing really authentic about the menu, just your generic staples.

Service

• Rotating servers =bad
• 15 minute wait to receive a drink=bad
• 45 minutes to receive a menu=bad
• Everyone was a bartender night=bad

Overall=bad

I feel like I've bitched enough about this one.

The good:

• The hostess actually knew what was going on

Style

The bad:

• Terrible ambiance of the restaurant, felt like I was in chain restaurant in the Minneapolis Airport.
• For a Saturday night the place should have been packed.
• I am sorry, but do not replace a waiter with someone who was a lunchlady at Paschal High School (Dolly Parton)
• No music, loud children
• This is the Worthington... lets get a better restaurant in here, don't lie down and let the Omni give it to you.
• The bar was overall the weakest part of the restaurant. TGI Friday's has more going on.

The good:

• Nothing, I would have rather sat at a Hooter's in Baton Rouge,LA.

Overall:

Vidalias,

You charge far too much, for a half-ass meal. You are located on prime real estate in the beautiful Worthington Hotel in Downtown Fort Worth. Please do not claim to be Southern Cuisine when all you do is over "crust" menu items. You have no excuse to be this bad.

Verdict: 4/10

Enjoy yourselves,

-J

And So It Begins...

I am a 20 something self proclaimed food critic. I have no formal schooling in food analysis or commentary, so when I say something tastes like shit, I am sorry I can't tell you why it tastes like shit, I just know it tastes like shit. I am a recent TCU alumni, enjoy the sun, golden retrievers, hunting, fishing and green grass. I am old but still young enough to stay up to all hours of the night.

Since this blog is just starting I will try to accomplish the following:

a) Review restaurants as they open in Fort Worth; my wonderful city

b) Review restaurants that are recommended to me (so please leave comments)

c) Provide commentary on Fort Worth staples (Kinkaids, The Original etc)

d) Help people understand, how to have a good time going out in Fort Worth

Food to me is just food, but the act of dining, is what truly makes a dining establishment great. Dining is the drinks, the atmosphere, the people eating, the people drinking, the music, the appetizers, the good looking hostess... you get the idea. I will rank restaurants into three categories:

1) Food and Drink: the actual food and drinks (no shit)

2) Service: everything from the hostess to the bread boys, service must and needs to compliment the food and style of the location.

3) Style: Lighting, music, crowd, tables, wallpaper, ambience, etc

And now my favorite part the booze. As far as myself, I went to college and had a fantastic time. I have been in almost every type of bar in America: clubs, dives, hotel, cigar, college, live music, patio, honky tonks, Tejano, etc. But to be honest I hate clubs. Sorry, but maybe I can teach you something about having a good time.

Enjoy yourselves,

-J