Quick Summer update: Tuesday’s are getting packed at Big Mike, but if the crowd is one in one out head over to the Aardvark. The bar hosts a DJ I-Pod night-plug in and go.
Walk around the TCU campus and say the word Aardvark on a Wednesday/Friday morning and you will turn heads. Most of the time you will get the satisfying nod or the “I was there too”. But you really don't even have to give a look or acknowledge, because you can easily identify bitches that have been "varked" the night before. They are either a) wearing heels, b) wearing some rush shirt that three other girls have stayed the night in or c) have a giant stamp that says LEGAL on their right hand (easiest identifier)--usually there will be some combination of the three. It is more difficult to pick up on guys because we are either way too hungover to go to class, don't go to class anyway, are catching up on Sportscenter or watching last week’s Entourage, and/or can't find parking so we’re playing NCAA instead.
The Aardvark, owned by bar entrepreneur Danny Weaver, has been a TCU hotspot for quite some time (at least since I have been on the scene). The Aardvark normally doesn't attract a TCU crowd on the weekends unless there is a home football game. And when I say "non-TCU" crowd I mean tattoos, screaming, black hair and the "I hate my dad mentality". Back to the bar-- since I have been in Frogtown, the bar has undergone renovations including a patio, expanded seating and some serious flat screens. The difference in the bathrooms is like night and day (not that I usually remember going into them), and I don't feel like I am pissing in a third world country anymore. But the greatest addition to the bar is food.
Watch out for the non-TCU crowd.... lots of screaming, lots of black t shirts etc.
Atmosphere- exactly what one would expect out of a "college bar". Smokey, concrete floors, bar stools that look like that have been thrown around (because they have been), and a long bar complete with lemonade machines converted to shot dispensers. But what really completes this bar is drunk ass college kids (that sounds weird because I was one for way too long). You can usually break down the guys into three categories: guys that are too drunk to function (usually found hanging onto a trash can or dancing alone), guys that have girlfriends--I feel for them here--because they usually have a good buzz and are having a good time until their drunk ass girlfriend starts bitching at them and they are coerced into going home, and finally, the guys on the prowl (girls can really get a good night out this group, free drinks and cigarettes all night). Get ready to hear the following songs every Thursday night from a college cover band who probably sucks: Wagon Wheel, Brown Eyed Girl, Crazy Game of Poker and a variety of other Texas Country songs.
The bar- obviously the best part of any college bar, and the Aardvark does not disappoint here. Mike and Adam, who have both been there for at least five years plus do a great job at mixing, pouring, and unscrewing drinks in a hurry. They know that if you don't get that rum and coke to that girl you have been working on all night, that she will probably leave you, so there is a bit of urgency behind the drinks they pour. If you are looking for a cheap night, go with a Miller High Life and the 2 dollar Kamikazes that are poured out of the converted lemonade machine. Doubles are right around 5 bucks and beers are about 3 dollars--not bad compared to other venues. The bartenders are pretty knowledgeable on shots, I have been there multiple times, had no clue what I was going to order, just said get me something good and don’t remember much after. Every bartender can deliver. Get to know James, the long bearded metal head doorman; he is an ass but a good friend to have when its 2AM and some drunk ass wants to beat the shit out of you. Believe me, he has helped me out plenty.
The Aardvark just recently added food and it does the trick. The food is simple, greasy and outstanding. Almost everything on the menu comes out fried with a side of ranch, but believe me after that 5th or 6th drink almost anything tastes great to me. For lunch or late night get the Spicy Buffalo Sandwich with a side of okra and of course ranch, and to really get things going add a side of buffalo sauce on the fried okra. I have also had a taquitos and they are incredible as well. Sunday brunch is where the Aardvark pulls ahead. Flat screen TVs, Dollar Mimosas, Bloody's that will split any hangover, and a 10-dollar all you can eat brunch that will put you in a coma. For the brunch try a bloody, country potatoes, waffles, and the biscuits and gravy. You will not be disappointed.
The crowd- watch out for random nights (Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays). You are usually in the clear from the Lamb of God group if you go on a Tuesday/Thursday or game day. This bar is almost magical to me, when I walk in I suddenly feel like vomiting in a trashcan in public is acceptable, and I feel young again. If someone tells you they hate the Aardvark they are a communist, atheist, or just bitter because they lost their designer purse at 1:45 while they were bitching at their boyfriend, then of course they blamed him and forced him to buy a new one. But seriously, what the hell are girls doing bringing 800 dollar purses to a bar where they plan on getting drunk?
Back to the crowd--so it looks like the Easter bunny shit pastels all over every guy and you see a bunch of bitches running around in clothes that will they will never be able to wear again after they get dropped on the floor. I am surprised I haven’t been sued because once that dance floor gets wet girls start falling and it’s bad news. I have been responsible for baseball sized bruised before but it’s their fault. One thing everyone has in common--they are all spending their parents money, which I was very good at. I remember getting very disturbing phone calls (always at 10 or 11am, some ungodly hour) from my mother bitching about bar tabs. Go to the Aardvark, it’s fun.
Quick Recap-
Atmosphere – typical college bar, scary on non-TCU nights, prepare yourself for the same 10 cover songs
The bar- fast service, good bar food and great brunch
The crowd – Vineyard Vines and Polo
Overall:
Atmosphere- 9/10
The bar- 10/10
The crowd- 8/10
